one day wen u find the real fact, there is whr the night mare begin,,,,

in tis world, everyone has fren. some have many and some just have one or two fren. fren are very important in our life. coz sometime we wil find our true love among our fren.

in my life, i tink tat are really important coz fren wil help u to solve problem or sometime they even accompany u to overcome some sad days. if u r lucky, u wil find some fren tat really treat u gud. they wil help u watever u ask them to do n they wil even care 4 u eventhough u din speakout tat u face some problem. i tink tis is wat cal real or true fren. there are many types of fren, normal fren n true fren. normal fren r the one just say hi or bye wen they saw u or just chit chat a few words wen they meet. but true fren r totally different. true fren r someone who r always beside u whenever u r hapi or sad. they wil stay beside u eventhough u din ask for. they wil noe wat u wan even u din mention n the most important is they wil not betray u.

i tink i'm the one who is nt so lucky bcoz i tink tat i dun have true fren. i noe tat true fren r nt easy to get n find. so i treat al my fren as gud as i can so tat i can get some true fren among my normal fren. sometime i really hope tat i wil get one or two true fren tat really noe wat i'm tinking n care 4 me wen i face some problem n nt give problem to me. i really hope i wil get tis true fren soon.

i tink i'm so stupid tat i treat everyone so well n i din get any response frm anyone. so nw i learn to be more selfish like others. juz treat evryone like normal fren so tat i won not nid to care 4 others people.

one day i feel so sad n reali heart break bcoz i found the real fact. i treat some of my fren as my true fren but they have betray me. wen u one day u find someone tat u saw everyday or u treat them gud eveytime wen they face problem betray u, u wil find tat is really a nightmare. u wil cry alone at the dark corner n mayb at the same time they wil smile or laugh at u. n even they dun noe wat u crying n juz ignore u. tis is why nightmare r juz started wen u found they totally change another person juz like devil.

so dun alway b the stupid one. b smart. dun always tink tat u find the real fact thn u r the most clever. i can tel u tat u r the most stupiest bcoz wen u found the real fact, there is whr the nightmare begin....

lost!!!

suddenly i feel damn lost... feel like dun noe wat wil happen n wat to do 4 the next day... i feel so scare... suddenly i'm scare until i cry alone in the room...

reali feel helpless...

i juz nid sum1 to help me pull bek my spirit to me... i feel so no aim nw...

wat should i do???

cn sumbody tel me...

mayb is bcoz of the pressure frm the study...

feel like dun noe everyting although oldi studied 4 so long...

feel like wan to giv up...

exhausted but veli hapi...

tis few weeks i'm busy wit my training. everyday hav to train until late in the nite. so tired.

finally the training finish and v r goin to hav the competition. v r so excited wit the competition. v meet many new fren thr and share something wit them.

thr r so frenly espeacially the penang fren. during the competition v hav sum arguement but v do nt mind about it bcoz v noe tat al of them is care bout the competition thn oli hav arguement. although din get a gud result but v learn a lot during tis competition. v noe each other more.

so i hope tat v can do better in the inter campus competition.

veli hapi to noe al of u....

心灰意冷

心灰意冷是因为你已经对莫些事绝望了。当你觉得绝望时，你会很自然的对所有事都无兴趣了。会开始不想再理会别人的事了，因为你已经累了。
我开始有想我也是否对于莫些事也绝望了吗？我真的绝望了！所以我开始不想问，不想答，也不想理了。我累了。我真的猜不透你们要的是什么，而你们也猜不透我要的是什么。我觉得那不如我回到原点吧。当个最普通的朋友，不必去猜测到底大家在想什么。
我也习惯了没有你们的生活。不要去想谁对，谁错。因为这不是一两天就能解决的问题。可能我们之间一直得不到一个共同的想法。所以在一起久了以后，就发觉大家都有问题存在。
哭是因为我真累了，累到我不知道该如何发泄。所以我哭了。可是我想告诉我自己，这是最后一次我在你们面前流泪。
因为我不想为了眼泪，都让你们觉得你们错了或对不起我。千万别这么想，因为大家的问题，也是我的问题。我知道我也有错。所以不要因为我的眼泪。而让你们觉得你们辜负了我。
朋友是不必天长永久，只要成经拥有好了。大家普普通通的当回普通朋友就好了，因为这样的话，我觉得会更好。
泪流过了，就算了吧。就当把那些不愉快的事情一起流走吧...

timing???

i tink tat timing is quite important in our life everyday...... sumtime v saw sum1 always live happily bcoz everyting cum in the rite timing n is under preepared. so everytime wen sumting happen on me i wil try to tink of it is't my problem or....so i won blame the wrong people by wrong ting...

sumting happpen on me last year is reali the most terrible nitemare in my life. al the bad ting n sad gamber 2gether n cum 2gether towards me... is reali make me dam tired!

al the ting cum at the wrong timing... if tey cum separately, mayb i stil can handle it... al tis ting reali make me tat tink of to juz go to die or juz run away so tat i can forget al the ting left al the ting behind....

timing reali veli important in my life... timing always cum wrongly in my life... sumtime i hate it... but wat to do tis is wat god had decided n plan... i nt dare to change everyitng tat god gave me but nw i try make it to siut my timing.... so tat i feel tat it is the rite timing... i reali to feel unhapi anymore... i wan to say goodbye to it...

i wan to make fren wit hapi.... mayb u or wil feel tat i'm different frm b4... i tink u al r rite bcoz nw i oldi left al the burden away frm me so i feel more relax n hapi nw... try nt to tink i'm acting b4 tis... i cn tel u al b4 tis bcoz of too much ting happen to me in a sudden so i cn nt handle it so i wil like always nt hapi... so nw cn say tis is the reality of me lo...

actually i'm not tat hapi

actually i'm not tat hapi...i feel very down tis few days becoz i'm not so satisfy wit my result. i din really get gud result tis time. i really put many effort tis time but stil the same. haiz, dam sad! mayb i'm really nt putting ful effort on it. luckily god stil give ame a chance to do better. so i tink tis time i really nid to put many ,many, many effort to it. sumtime really feel helpness on tis.
actually i really din feel hapi from last year til now coz many ting happen out of my aspectation. suddenly i feel tat i'm lost. many ting really put pressure on me. mayb outsider(frens) feel like i'm just over care on sumting. but i can tel u al, not everyting u can just put in down easily. sumting happen oldi, is mean tat it oldi happen. so how can i just ignore it n bluf myself tat i din happen b4. sumtime i just dun wan al the fren n my family to worry bout me, so i always act like so hapi infront of them. but now i can tel u al honestly i'm really nt tat hapi. sumtime i really feel tat the word 'happy' is really so strange to me. i feel tat it really not appear im my life sumtime.
sumtime i ask myself why everytime i so dam unlucky tat everyting unhapi happen to me. sumtime i really blame god tat why he nid to such unfair ting me. noting hapi happen to me. why nid to so unfair to me! sumtime i juz dunwan to bother sum more bout people ting. juz put more time on myself. care myself.
sumtime i juz wan a fren or sumtime to let me reliance on. but sumtime fren tat closer to u is the one who betray u the most. so really feel hopeless n helpness sumtime. wat i can do is juz cry alone during the lonely night. fren always tink tat i so tuff tat i can solve everyting alone. but i can say, u al r wrong. i'm juz a normal human being. i oso have my limit. i oso wil get sick n tired. so dun alway tink tat i'm a superwomen. i'm juz a gul like others, nid loven nid people to care bout me. dun always put ur own thinking on me! i juz hope u al can tink bout me when the time u al tink bout other fren or other peolple. why i can do al tis to u alk n u al can not juz do part it or juz one it to me.
i can say i really treat everyone wit my true heart. plz dun tink tat wat i do to u al is fake n juz wan to act like i'm a very gud fren or people to others. i can swear to god tat i really treat everyone equally, not too much to 'A' n too lease to 'B'. so i juz wan u al to treat equally to me too n i oso dun espect more than tat.
i hope u al can really noe wat i'm really wan to say. juz treat me fairly like how u al treat others...
i hope i can live hapily like others, always get together wit fren, play around wit fren. i juz wan v r like b4, wat oso can share, wat oso can chat wit each others.sumtime i feel tat v r like stranger more than a fren.
lastly i hope everyone around me wil hapi alwayzzzzzzzz. n i oso wil get hapi soon.